Jed Clampett’s oft stated. “Well, I’ll be dogged!” might have been okay for the Beverly Hillbillies, but it is not the policy of the Port Allegany Police Department, following the destruction of police property by a pit bull puppetrator.

Parking in a No Parking church parking lot late at night, suspicious behavior by a ground hog and an alleged altercation involving alcohol were among other matters that required police attention in the week that began Monday, July 18 and ended Sunday, July 23.

Last Sunday shortly after noon Chief Dave Distrola received a complaint that vehicles were being parked in the Free Methodist Church parking lot late at night. The parking lot is marked “No Parking.”

At 3:35 p.m. Officer Tony Tanner got a report concerning a white Owl/Hawk Homes delivery van being operated erratically as it approached town on Route 6. Tanner was unable to locate the vehicle.

Tanner received a lost operator’s license, or the lost license of a driver, at 8 p.m. The license, which  had been found on the Square and turned in to police, was found to belong to Jacob Borowsky of 4883 Route 155. He was not lost, but was not found either.

Last Tuesday Officer Tanner got a 6:47 p.m. call that sent him to the Jubilee parking lot to check out a fight said to be in progress there. When Tanner arrived he found that the pugilists had fled, and the crowd of onlookers was dispersing rapidly.

Thursday afternoon at 3 Officer Kyle Day helped a motorist with a vehicle lockout problem in front of the post office.

At 6:30 p.m. Day responded to a report of a gas leak at 609½ North Main Street. A floor furnace had become dislodged and had fallen, breaking a gas supply line. The Port Allegany Fire Department and the gas company were notified, and both took appropriate action.

At 8 p.m. Day was dispatched to the Pump House gas station for a report of a minor motor vehicle crash. Someone had attempted to turn around a motor home in the parking lot and had struck a green pickup, breaking a brake light cover.

At 8:30 p.m. Day was dispatched to 25 South Main Street, where it had been reported that a groundhog was acting strangely. The animal control officer was contacted and advised to dispose of the animal. (Reporter’s personal opinion: All woodchuck behavior is suspicious enough generally to justify standing instructions to dispose of them. Any time, any place, by any lawful means, meaning anything short of missiles launched from Predator drones.)

Friday at 1 p.m. a brown pit bull was turned in at the police station and lodged in the temporary animal holding pen there. The Bradford based SPCA was notified. The dog set to work on a pro se appeal of its sentence to the pen by destroying the door to the holding pen.

The pit bull was taken into custody by the SPCA. But the episode has terminated, at least for now, the canine program of the local police. From now on, the SPCA, or state dog control officer Amy Tyger, should be notified concerning roaming dogs.

There was a vehicle crash report at 6:22 p.m. Officer Day went to 35 Church Street, and found that one vehicle had been stopped waiting to enter the driveway when another vehicle, backing out of a driveway, struck the first vehicle.

Saturday morning at 11:30 Chief Distrola was dispatched to 220 Chestnut Street to check on a report of burning rubbish. Distrola advised the resident that a local ordinance bans burning rubbish or having a burn pit for rubbish burning. The resident complied with instructions to discontinue burning rubbish and to remove the burn pit.

There was a vehicle lockout on North Main Street, and Officer Day helped with that at 6:15p.m.

At 9:30 p.m. Day assisted Pennsylvania State Police with a traffic stop on Lower Grimes Road. An operator identified as Chris Caldwell was reported to be arrested and charged with DUI and drug possession.

At 10:20 p.m. there was a report of barking dogs, and Day was dispatched to 305 Broad Street. The dogs were in a home where windows were open and the owner was not present. A neighbor helped Day enter the residence and calm the dogs.

At 11:14 p.m. Day was dispatched to 28½ North Main Street for a report of a disturbance. He found that occupants, apparently intoxicated, were arguing, and one was said to have struck the other. They did not want any action taken, and left the apartment.

Sunday evening at 5:57 Officer Tanner was dispatched to 220 Chestnut Street. This time the report was that someone had torn down a No Trespassing sign from a tree at that address. The complainant suggested that the probable perpetrator was the neighbor who had called about her burn pit. Tanner was not able to confirm this, however, and the No Trespass sign ripper was not identified.

At 10:24 p.m. Tanner was dispatched to the Sheetz parking lot for a complaint of harassment. Subjects were said to have threatened to punch the complainants. Investigation continues; charges may be pending.